Valentine Schmalentine
It seemed appropriate to commemorate Valentine's Day with a posting. I know it's an overrated con and allows men a handy excuse to duck out of behaving properly the rest of the year, but I am currently feeling smug because my card just arrived this morning. I am 99.9% confident that it is from my friend Emmawiththestalkers, even though she made gargantuan efforts to disguise it - I detect the coopting of her boyfriend NiceMartin to write out the address and do the writing inside. Definitely a male scrawl.
What is especially nice is that the card was full of tiny silver sparkly hearts which made a very festive display on the floor. Normally I would have just left them where they were so I could admire them for the rest of the day. And, if I left them there, SapphireTheCat might eat them. From one perspective, this might be a rather cunning plan. For SapphireTheCat has thrown up at least four times this weekend, ever since he rather aggressively - I'm talking jumping onto the table and knocking my cereal spoon out of my hand - badgered me into giving him a small saucer of milk on Saturday. Thing is, I strongly suspect there are more throwings-up elsewhere in the house I haven't spotted. If his vomit was shiny and silver colored, I might stand a better chance.
On the other hand, Landlady Lynn is due back from her trip to upstate NY this evening, so on the whole I decided I preferred to avoid the risk of having to greet her with the news that her beloved cat is spreadeagled on the OR table, having silver sparkly hearts picked out of his bowels. The hearts had to go.
On the subject of Valentine's Day, I couldn't help laughing in the automated checkout line at El Gigante (aka Giant supermarket, home of the FishWoman). There were at least eight men, standing sheepishly in their lines, clutching really bedraggled bunches of roses .
El Gigante, you see, has a Valentine Guarantee. You are guaranteed to be able to buy a really nasty half dead bunch of roses there until 8pm on Valentine's Day. They promise they will not run out. What an offer.
What is especially nice is that the card was full of tiny silver sparkly hearts which made a very festive display on the floor. Normally I would have just left them where they were so I could admire them for the rest of the day. And, if I left them there, SapphireTheCat might eat them. From one perspective, this might be a rather cunning plan. For SapphireTheCat has thrown up at least four times this weekend, ever since he rather aggressively - I'm talking jumping onto the table and knocking my cereal spoon out of my hand - badgered me into giving him a small saucer of milk on Saturday. Thing is, I strongly suspect there are more throwings-up elsewhere in the house I haven't spotted. If his vomit was shiny and silver colored, I might stand a better chance.
On the other hand, Landlady Lynn is due back from her trip to upstate NY this evening, so on the whole I decided I preferred to avoid the risk of having to greet her with the news that her beloved cat is spreadeagled on the OR table, having silver sparkly hearts picked out of his bowels. The hearts had to go.
On the subject of Valentine's Day, I couldn't help laughing in the automated checkout line at El Gigante (aka Giant supermarket, home of the FishWoman). There were at least eight men, standing sheepishly in their lines, clutching really bedraggled bunches of roses .
El Gigante, you see, has a Valentine Guarantee. You are guaranteed to be able to buy a really nasty half dead bunch of roses there until 8pm on Valentine's Day. They promise they will not run out. What an offer.
posted by alranson | 12:00 PM
1 Comments:
Oh Alex! You did it again! Made me snort with laughter in the middle of drinking a glass of water..
Post a Comment
<< Home