I'm still in Schock
I think my mission this week is to prove my statement of yesterday, that America never ceases to amaze.
I was reading Time magazine in the waiting room of the local Ford dealership this morning (where, embarrassingly, I have to regularly take the car because I've never figured out how to screw the petrol cap on properly, thus causing the check engine light to come on).
Three staggering facts caught my eye.
1) 74% of silicon breast implants rupture within ten years. 74%! Those who know me know that this is a disaster I am unlikely ever to have to experience, but still. Seen in this light, plastic surgery is a brilliant business model (for the surgeons): you are essentially not buying new breasts, merely renting them.
2) $7 billion in social security taxes are paid each year by illegal immigrants (and legal non-residents who have a lazy incompetent moron as a payroll manager), even though they are not eligible to receive social security benefits. This is equivalent to 10% of the entire US social security surplus last year. So, Lou Dobbs, chew on that one next time you start ranting about how middle class Americans suffer from all those evil illegal immigrants.
3) RowingTurkeyGuy was telling me today in the boat that, the way things are going in this country, he was worried the whole of American would have fallen victim to the religious right within ten years. Well, Time Magazine says otherwise. Apparently a performer by the name of Martha Wainwright has just released a new album called Bloody Mother F********* A****. Long live the USA!
I was reading Time magazine in the waiting room of the local Ford dealership this morning (where, embarrassingly, I have to regularly take the car because I've never figured out how to screw the petrol cap on properly, thus causing the check engine light to come on).
Three staggering facts caught my eye.
1) 74% of silicon breast implants rupture within ten years. 74%! Those who know me know that this is a disaster I am unlikely ever to have to experience, but still. Seen in this light, plastic surgery is a brilliant business model (for the surgeons): you are essentially not buying new breasts, merely renting them.
2) $7 billion in social security taxes are paid each year by illegal immigrants (and legal non-residents who have a lazy incompetent moron as a payroll manager), even though they are not eligible to receive social security benefits. This is equivalent to 10% of the entire US social security surplus last year. So, Lou Dobbs, chew on that one next time you start ranting about how middle class Americans suffer from all those evil illegal immigrants.
3) RowingTurkeyGuy was telling me today in the boat that, the way things are going in this country, he was worried the whole of American would have fallen victim to the religious right within ten years. Well, Time Magazine says otherwise. Apparently a performer by the name of Martha Wainwright has just released a new album called Bloody Mother F********* A****. Long live the USA!
posted by alranson | 2:23 PM
4 Comments:
You have a RowingTurkeyGuy?
Have found you in my LJ and commented accordingly. Still think we must be able to make communications easier than this, though. Will keep you posted, miaow purr.
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RowingTurkeyGuy: yeah, weird huh?
He is an English PhD who rows with us. Does not hunt turkeys (as far as I know), this one is actually half Turkish!! Though he has blond hair and blue eyes and says he can't speak any Turkish, he has a Turkish last name.
Ah. I was on turkey as in all-around waste of space. Your version's nices.
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