The 'Crew

Not crew as in rowing, no.

I decided to make a start on my To Do Before Leaving List.

I went down to Fashion Square (site of the John Grisham Charlottesville massacre scene) to have a little chat with the manager of J Crew. I had hoped he would see reason.

After all, I have been an excellent customer, as are increasing numbers of my British friends. Only a month ago, I sent a parcel of JC goodies onto PubShy in London, and last week the CRM was unceremoniously dispatched there to buy a pair of Foxfield worthy pants.

I had not bargained with the fact that the J Crew manager is a pathetic corporate amoeba. He said he would have to ask head office permission before he could post stuff from his store to England. Even if it was paid for in advance by a US-issued credit card? Yes.

The game, I knew, was up.

***

Of course, head office said no. I could have told him they would say that, and saved the price of an out of area phone call.

We had a brief and lively (on my side) debate. His side of the conversation involved repeating the words "corporate policy, corporate policy, corporate policy" over and over again until he became a Distinctly Boring Corporate Amoeba.

***

I went home, determined not to give in. I rang J Crew's customer service center, just down the road in Lynchburg, Virginia, and politely asked if someone could tell me the reason for the corporate policy that J Crew do not want any overseas customers.

The girl, astonishingly, went to find out.

"Well ma'am. The reason is that there is not enough demand."

"No demand??? How do you know?"

She went to find out.

"Our New York office does surveys of our customers."

"And these would be customers in the United States?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Do you see any logical flaws in this argument?"

***

I dictated a long message to her to pass onto these people in New York.